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Single
in the Mid-Thirties – Things To Consider
by Heather Jaillett |
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It
doesn’t matter how you got to be single in your mid-thirties. What
does matter, however, is that you have certain priorities in
order so that you can protect yourself and those you date from
getting hurt. There are too many reasons to list on why
you’re on the market at this stage in your life, but you should
be clear on your goals, both long and short-term. You
don’t want to be led on or trapped into something you didn’t
want in the first place.
The
very first things you need to consider are your short and long-term
relationship goals. If you are a confirmed bachelor (or
bachlorette) you definitely don’t want to be dating someone
who is determined to settle down and start a family. Age
is often tied to this as well. A twenty-something may
be looking for a good time or to tie the knot. While
a boy toy or trophy can be fun in the short-term, if you are
looking for a serious relationship you may want to look elsewhere.
There
are a lot of things to consider when dating either above or
below your age bracket. If you fall for someone who is
a lot younger, you may get hurt because they can lack maturity
that comes only from life experience. Twenty-somethings
are often still trying to figure out where they fit in, and
are still forming their goals. Another problem is children;
they may or may not want them. If you get really serious,
as in any age bracket, you need to discuss each other’s views
on children.
On
the other hand, if you date someone much older than you there
are some problems to be aware of as well. Older people
tend to have already decided what they want out of life, and
generally are not too excited to change course. If you
really want to settle down, don’t go chasing after the man
or woman who has no intention of a long-term relationship. Also,
there are certain generation gaps that have to be considered. Your
older lover may not appreciate going to see your favorite rock
group in concert. With consideration and understanding,
however, many obstacles of dating older and younger people
can be overcome.
Another
thing to consider is your financial position. Have you
dedicated the last ten years to getting ahead in your career
and the rewards that come with that? Are you willing
to give up half of your money in a divorce? You will
have to decide what is important depending on the person you
are dating. Even people who aren’t married have had their
lover run off with the bank account. Protect yourself,
and if necessary, seek the advice of an attorney before you
propose or accept a proposal.
Finally,
if you have children you need to consider the type of people
that are entering your life. Do you want to bring any
and all of your dates to meet them, or are you going to wait
for someone fairly serious? You also have to try to uphold
the values that you want your children to follow in their lives. You
are a role model, and how you conduct yourself does make an
impression on your children.
In
short, be smart about what you are doing. Don’t leave
yourself open to be taken advantage of. Most of all,
though, have fun and good luck in pursuing your romantic endeavors. |
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Heather
Jaillett is a freelance writer from Washington State. After
extensive dating she finally found her soul mate. She
still advises many on dating solutions, and is constantly researching
relationships and romance. Exploring ways to add romance
to electronic communication is also another pursuit she enjoys.
Heather
Jaillett writes for DrDating – a
web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds
of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating and love
sites all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of some
of the most popular dating sites and books. http://www.DrDating.com |
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