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When
The
Right One Comes Along
by Lu Huskey |
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Have
you ever wanted something so badly that you just weren’t willing
to wait for it? Patience runs thin when we are in a hurry
and want things right now; especially when it comes to love. It
seems we just can’t accept ourselves as we should and just enjoy
our own company. We honestly do need to know ourselves
before we try to get to know someone else too intimately. By
being secure in our own self-esteem and confidence, we are able
to go places and enjoy things, even when we might be alone, because
we truly are our own best friend.
Rose
had been married and divorced twice, and with that track record,
she was very reluctant to get into any kind of new relationship. Most
men started out treating her in a very kind, very compassionate
way, but after marriage, it seemed things changed and she just
felt as if she was being taken advantage of.
She
did keep dating, however, because the one thing in life that
she didn’t want was to be alone. Her mother, Alice, had
lived a life of loneliness and Rose wasn’t about to follow in
her footsteps. At six years old, her father died from an
unforeseeable illness, leaving her mother to raise three children
on her own. Without much money, Alice was forced to go
out into the workplace making a living to support her little
family and without much education, she ended up in minimum wage
jobs that barely made ends meet. Rose was left alone with
her other sisters quite often, and as an adult, she longed for
male affection and companionship.
Her
one goal in life was to find a man. She wanted this more
than anything else, especially since she had never really known
the love of a man before. Her first husband she married
at 18, which enabled her to get out of the house and start her
own place in life. He was a 17-year-old guy in the military,
so somewhat like her mother, she ended up alone much of the time,
which was certainly not what she had in mind. Joe would
write her letters and call her on the telephone, which was some
comfort, but it wasn’t the same as waking up together in each
other’s arms. Being such an immature age, he also succumbed
to the advances of other women while he was away, which ended
the marriage after just two years. Rose just couldn’t deal
with knowing that he was playing around with other women and
she wasn’t about to sit home and wait while that was going on.
Out
of money and love, Rose moved back home with Alice and her little
sisters, only to be told over and over how foolish she was to
move out in the first place and marry such a loser guy. Alice
had never liked Joe, and had never minded letting her know it.
Once
again, Rose met a very good looking fellow who she knew must
be the right one, so she married him. Again, he was unfaithful
to her and she divorced him. She was ready to just give
up on ever having anyone who would be true to her.
Rose
wondered if she could ever hold onto a man again, but that didn’t
stop her from marrying the first man who came along. He
was an older man and a business owner with money, so that was
a deciding factor in her decision to rush into marriage. She
needed emotional and financial stability and this was what she
was waiting for. The problem with this one is that she
didn’t really love him as a wife should love a husband. He
was such a nice man though, and going back to her need to have
a male figure in her life, she married him after just dating
him just 5 weeks. What a diamond ring he gave her! It
was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen!
About
two years later their first baby came along, and such a pretty
baby she was. Little Diana was everything to Rose, so they
decided to have another child, and Jake was born not long afterwards. Here
she was, a housewife in a beautiful home with two beautiful children
and a loving husband; but he was a husband she didn’t love and
that left her with an emptiness she had never known.
One
day, she decided to get involved with a local civic group in
her town. She met a good-looking guy who was close
to her age. He was such a friendly man and so charismatic. Rose
had never met anyone like him and she was immediately drawn to
Charles. He wasn’t married and they had endless chats at
the meetings she attended, but she felt herself growing closer
and closer to him. What would she do? Here she was
falling in love with the man of her dreams. Finally someone
she had waited for all of her life had appeared, but it was too
late because she already was set in a marriage with small children
and felt there was no way out.
Rose
went to these civic meetings every week, meeting Charles there
and always going for coffee afterwards, but nothing more. After
her first two failed marriages and her ex-husband’s infidelities,
she could not go down this road herself. She remembered
the hurt she felt and just could not inflict this on her children
or her devoted husband. So, she remained “friends” with
Charles for several years before the time came when he asked
her to decide between the life she had and the life of love he
could offer. But, so afraid of losing little Diana and
Jake, she declined him over and over until finally he left town
and she never heard from him again. As the old song tells
us, it truly is “sad to belong to someone else when the right
one comes along…”
Our
friend Rose was just in too big of a hurry to “get hitched”. She
felt incomplete without a man, and this was partly due to the
absence of a father in her life. By not growing up around
men, she had a deep need to fill that void, but had she recognized
this as the reason or basis for all these relationships, perhaps
Rose might have made better choices. We do deserve the
best and the best certainly is worth waiting for.
Patience
is such a virtue that, as a whole, we all have to work on in
life. By not waiting for the right husband (or wife), we
are doing ourselves an injustice. By marrying the wrong
people just to get out of the house or keep from being alone,
we sacrifice our very souls by living with people we really don’t
love (or sometimes even like) that much. Always be fair
to yourself, and true to your heart and feelings and you will
never find yourself alone in this world.
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Lu
Huskey is an aspiring writer, liturgical musician, and owner
of her own consulting company. Her experience in relationships
is reflected in a successful 20 years marriage and being a mother
of three.
Lu
writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone looking for love
online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books and links to some
great dating and love sites all over the world. DrDating also
offers reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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